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Allstate Christmas

Across
My first name rhymes with BARK, and I have a large cock
I am the agent who overpays lame asses, and believes Kristi will save my agency...so I pay her $50k per yr.
Male Ginger, and mail Giggalo.
I know how to write checks, squeeze tight asses, and never come to work except to bitch.
I have a lot of these as pets, live with my mother, am stupid and blonde and have a lot of these in my house...
He's no "replacement player" to Barney, but can get the job done in a crisis.
I dress like a slut, known for being a total liar, and totally inept professionally.
My first name rhymes with FLYIN, and my cock is so small I have to drive a big truck to hide it.
I sound like a gravel truck driver when I speak, and bowl with the best of them.
I'm not kidding...these were ordered months ago, and Blaine is getting them ready for the office.
I missed everyone this year, and am enjoying this Christmas with my pedophilic boyfriend.
I am out of sight, but not out of mind.
My first name rhymes with JON, and I have a small cock
I will never be known for leading the team with outbound call volume. In fact, I will just never be known at all...I am worthless!
If I were an animal, (because I cannot ever be found), I would be known as this...
Down
I think I am hot, but I'm not. I look I took a hockey puck off my nose...
I am known for hitting on all the office women, and mastering the use of PDF editor
I don't even know this person, but she's filling in for baby maker.
I had Kentucky Fried Chicken at my wedding reception. I invite sluts in overly tight dresses to my ceremony.
My wife is a XANEX freak, and favorite song is "who let the dogs out."
I'm just old...sweet as candy, but old as shit
I keep this in the back of my truck, because there's plenty of room for storage since the computers are not in there.
I will never be given a job at Starbucks.
I answer the phone, and that's all!!!
My name reminds you of Gomer, and I love giving out sweets.
My sweater is special because it has this...
I think Mark is "sweet," but I still didn't pass my test.
I eat here, used to work here, and learned a lot here...
I am a whore, guzzle like a slut, and flirt like a prostitute
I'm known for my tight pants. It makes the blood rush to my head.
I drive this to work everyday with the proceeds of my BLOOD, sweat and tears. It is a Mustang...