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Congratulations on another successful ____ around the Sun

1931: Mustafa Kemal Pasja, known as ___, becomes president of Turkey
(Toting an elephant gun) "Broke into the wrong goddam ___ didn't you, ya bastard!"
1814: Ferdinand VII finally got his act together and stomped on the Spanish Constitution in an event which ___ represented in his famous painting. (David would hate this painting btw.)
1954: The US brings Sponge Bob into the world via their nuclear testing in the ___ Atoll
1878: Thomas Edison's invention, the ___, got the "spotlight" in its first public appearance
1896: Two rules of thumb: never cook bacon naked, and never cook bacon near half a ton of ___, because you may reenact this "groundbreaking" event at Cripple Creek, CO.
1535: Five monks were drawn and ___ when Henry VIII threw a hissy fit.
Depressing quotes weren't invented by Sartre. Who wrote: "Death smiles on us all. All we can do is smile back."
(sitting in a darkened car) "Wanna catch a robber?" "No. To tell you the truth, I'd rather go ___."
1925: The League of Nations (Sweet, naive LoN) confers to prevent the use of ___ and biological weapons. (We wish they listened too, Woodrow. We really do.)
1943: Dolly Parton's ___ was born
1904 The Bull Moose himself "channeled" his energy into a project in ___
"You know what we call people who ___ with us? Suicide."
Insufferable bother who turns out to have a heart of gold
1999: This movie premiers and it is friggin great.
1932: They finally arrest ___ for tax evasion
1945: In ___, Germany surrenders to the US.
1780: My favorite Founding Father, ___, cofounded the American Academy of Arts and Science.
Your favorite piece of architecture
"___ well... And often."
1864: Grant attacked Lee at this river.
1996: On your actual birthday, basically nothing happened except a bunch of boring ___ stats
1008: Henry I, Kind of the ___ was born
1974: This band plays live in Toronto
Inspector who can't trust his own senses
1945: In ___ Germany surrenders to Britain.
1961: Buses full of ___ riders drive down to the South
"My ___ are too tight. And I have forgotten how to dance."
Exciting new deck: "___ Punch Man"
My own favorite character of yours
"Why you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking ___ herder!"